thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
