Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
