Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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