I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
