Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
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