i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
