the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
