But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
where are my eyebrows?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
