No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
