I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Randomize
