Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
