Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Randomize
