lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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