fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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