Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
