I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
