i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
