I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
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