If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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