he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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