you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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