Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
