how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
