addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
