i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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