Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
