Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
