yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
