Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
