Don't you send me to vm
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize