I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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