put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
