She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
