I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
