we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
