making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
