I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
