hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
