ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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