Already got asked if we're dating
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
