Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
