i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
