Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"

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(702): View more from Nevada

Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm

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(708): View more from Illinois

What are you doing and how can I add sex in there

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(770): View more from Georgia

Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me

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(304): View more from West Virginia

My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.

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(850): View more from Florida

Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?

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(228): View more from Mississippi

We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up

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(419): View more from Ohio

Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.

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