Everything about him screamed your future.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
