Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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