If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
