Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy

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(805): View more from California

As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!

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(206): View more from Washington

I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.

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(514): View more from Quebec

He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.

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(443): View more from Maryland

This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..

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(917): View more from New York City

Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.

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(817): View more from Texas

Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby

(508): View more from Massachusetts

Hahahaha why what's happening?

(817): View more from Texas

She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical

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