i need an iv and a liver transplant
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
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