quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
