My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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